Traditions? Who needs 'em?

Weddings are all about this thing called "tradition" <cue music from "Fiddler on the Roof">.

Without traditions, most of what we do today to celebrate nearly everything would be rather blah.  Weddings are no exception.  It's tradition that the Father of the Bride walk her down the aisle.  It's tradition that everyone be dressed up.  It's tradition that there's even a wedding!

I'm not going to tell you what you should do on your wedding day, as a matter of fact, I'm more likely to tell you pretend you're at Burger King and "Have it YOUR way!", but, there are some things I want you to think about.

Cutting the Cake.  Come on people, it's a cake, you cut it, everyone watches.  It's over in about 2 minutes.  You don't need the "cram the cake" action going on, that's kinda tacky.  This tradition started hundreds of years ago and it signifies "breaking bread together", or forming a family.  This is not one to leave out.

Bride and Groom seeing each other before the ceremony.  This is an oldie, but a goodie.  This one comes from arranged marriage, which is still practiced in some cultures today.  I guess the idea was that lets say we had a "beautification challenged" bride, keeping the groom away from her until he says, "I do" might stop him from running away in terror!  That's also probably the origin of the veil tradition as well, come to think of it.  I personally think since most couples have been together much longer before getting married than they used to, having a "separation time", even if it's only one day, makes the wedding day (and night) better.  You know the saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".  Plus, from a photography standpoint, the reaction of the groom to his bride coming down the aisle is priceless, but if he's seen her already, it's not so much.

The Garter and Bouquet.  These are the items most commonly left out by today's brides.  I hear, "It's tacky", or "That's boring".  Guess what?  Wanna know what's boring?  Going to a wedding as a guest, sitting through a ceremony, then attending a reception where NOTHING happens.  Just dinner, maybe a speech or two, then dancing.  They have clubs for that.  Having activities such as the garter toss, the boquet toss, first dances, cake cutting, maybe a dollar dance, get people involved and out of their seats.  Here's the truth:  Most people hate going to weddings.  Why not do something that makes them not hate yours?  Let's say you don't have any or enough single people in the crowd.  No problem, have ALL the women or ALL the men come up.  OR, here's a good one:  One of my brides bought about 30 scratch off lottery tickets and fitted them into a boquet of flowers, everyone was invited to the dance floor (and most got up too!) and someone went home with a nice gift!  GREAT IDEA!  I've never seen that many people get up for a boquet toss before!

There are many more traditions at weddings that are being ignored or scorned today.  I don't think this is the way to go.  Instead, let's modify these traditions to suit today's world and interests.  Keeping the spirit of tradition is more important than the actual mechanics of the act.  I want future generations to continue to do the traditional things that have always been done.  This is part of what creates a culture and a community, without that where would we be?

-B

Comments

[Susan Black]

Good stuff Brian! Thanks for posting it.